Look at her actions in a positive light and swap the small talk for more meaningful conversation
The question I’m due to marry later this year and would like advice regarding my mother-in-law to be. My relationship with her tends to be strained. She lost her husband before I met my partner. I know he did an awful lot for her – I can’t help but think she feels I am taking her son away from her. Her behaviour towards me is often petty, she rarely even tries to make small talk. The way she behaves makes me feel I want to spend as little time with her as possible. She has a tendency to make the atmosphere sour. She seems increasingly selfish and she hasn’t offered to help with our wedding at all. She is spending a great amount of time and money on her appearance, she is obsessed with dieting. It makes me feel as if she is trying to compete with me.
I get upset when I hear about friends getting on well with their mothers-in-law. It is unlikely we will ever have a close bond, but I don’t want my partner and I to start our married life in this way. He seems oblivious to it all. What can I do to help ease the tension?