The Secret To a Fight-Free Relationship. “Conventional wisdom says that venting is cathartic and that we should never go to bed angry. But couples who save disagreements for scheduled meetings show the benefits of a more patient approach to conflict.”
“We can hurt one another when disagreements shove the regions of our brain that are responsible for rational thinking into the back seat. When we react without taking time to cool off, we might sting our partner to score points or defend ourselves. And, chances are, that behavior won’t bring a feeling of catharsis. At best, venting may provide a temporary mood boost—but in many cases it doesn’t accomplish even that. In a seminal psychology study, participants who sat quietly right after their anger was provoked became less angry than those who were instructed to vent.
Instead of treating anger as steam that needs to be released, we seem to be better off running out the clock on it. “