I hate “We Didn’t Start The Fire” so much. I hate it with my whole being, my entire soul. I hear that nattering keyboard riff and those hyperactive bongos and “Harry Truman Doris Day,” and I become a different being. My blood becomes lava. My teeth become knives. In seconds, I could reduce a rhinoceros to ashen bone with the sheer acidity of my stomach bile. As a song, “We Didn’t Start The Fire” is a cursed and godforsaken work of torment, a towering abomination. Its sheer musical unpleasantness is, in its own way, almost impressive.
Over the course of writingThe Number Ones column for Stereogum, Tom Breihan has covered a lot of mediocre stuff. He can usually find some nugget of goodness or value in the drek. He does not hold back when it comes to Billy Joel’s worst big hit.
Hat tip to @gcflatt on Twitter for the title of the post