This entire event has spent four days crying out to be locked in a loft (one that’s insulated, of course)
On Sunday, I watched a video of Matt Hancock doing a constituency walkabout, which our former Covid overlord posted and then deleted from his own Twitter account. It’s unclear how many hours or even days of footage the ex-health secretary had to film in order to splice together a full 49 seconds of people not screaming observations beginning with the words “Oi, Hancock, you absolute …”. But we’re left with Matt awkwardly fist-bumping and hugging local women, with multilayered comments about “coming out the other side”. I had only one question: how is it possible that this video is still more dignified than the Labour party conference?
To Brighton, where most coverage of Labour feels like intruding on private grief. Top line: Keir Starmer remains juuuust a few infinity stones short of a gauntlet. A national executive committee member announced that Labour’s legal fees were now £2m a year. What are its sedative bills? This entire event has spent four days crying out to be locked in a loft – one that’s insulated, of course, ideally with 2-metre-thick lead.