The theatre impresario was so stung by the dismal film that he became a dog lover – but he mustn’t let this give him any ideas
Now that the dust is starting to settle, it’s becoming more and more apparent that Cats caused Covid. Think about it. All the time that Cats didn’t exist in the world, Covid wasn’t a thing. But then Cats came out in cinemas and, just 11 days later, the Wuhan Municipal Health Commission reported its first cluster of cases. What could Covid possibly be if not extreme karmic retribution for a species so wildly out of control that it spent tens of million dollars making a plotless film about nightmarish horny feline monstrosities who eat children?
At least we can soothe ourselves with the knowledge that the people responsible have not gone unpunished. Not only has director Tom Hooper seemingly disappeared into the ether, with no new projects on the horizon, but Andrew Lloyd Webber says he was “emotionally damaged” by the ordeal.