“If we care about preparing our boys for healthy relationships, this may be one way to do it—making time and space in school, where so much of their social world exists, to teach them how to name and handle their emotions and solve problems that crop up among friends. Creating a classroom culture where students are expected to think about how other people feel and notice what they need, and to be as earnest about kindness and empathy as they are about academics. Helping them see that while it takes practice to learn how to navigate our inner lives and our social lives, it is something we all can—and should—learn to do.” — an excerpt from “To Raise A Boy” by Emma Brown (the Washington Post reporter who broke the Christine Blasey Ford/Brett Kavanaugh sexual assault story).
How boys suffer from gender stereotypes — author Emma Brown weighs in (CNN):
“Uncovering [the fact that sexual assault and harassment by boys against other boys is common] was just so profoundly upsetting, and also transformative. Violence against men and women, girls and boys, are tangled up in the same deeply ingrained notions of manhood. Yet, sexual victimization of boys and young men is often left out of the conversation. We cannot dismiss that — or boys’ pain in those cases. And we certainly can’t solve the problem of violence against women unless we also address violence against boys and men. […] We tell boys that boys and men are tough, strong, dominant and don’t cry. Those messages make it really hard for boys to acknowledge when they’ve been victimized at all, but particularly sexually. Boys often have trouble recognizing what’s happened to them as sexual assault and difficulty getting help. Research has also found links between boys who believe they must live up to standards about being “real” boys or men and those at a greater risk for perpetrating sexual violence against women. These gender norms are harmful for everyone.”
More on “To Raise A Boy”:
Emma Brown on how to stop our sons from growing up into monstrous men (Salon)
How To Raise Boys Who Aren’t Afraid To Be Vulnerable (HuffPost)
How can we better raise boys? A new book looks at where we’ve gone wrong — and how to fix it (WaPo)
Emma Brown explains why society fails boys just as much as it fails girls (Motherly)