A former dominatrix is eviscerating in her exploration of the sexual submission required as young women mature
American author Melissa Febos is many things the average reader very likely won’t be, among them a former dominatrix and a recovering heroin addict. And yet her new book of essays, Girlhood, describes experiences that will be recognisable to every woman. If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable in your own body, unable to say no – or at least, not without a compensatory smile – or obliged to put up with the “ordinary violations” that come with being female (the catcalls, the come-ons), then Girlhood will not only speak to you, it will also ignite fury that two words like “ordinary” and “violation” should ever have cause to couple.
A capacious blend of memoir and reportage, history and cultural criticism, its seven essays loosely chart Febos’s journey from girlhood to womanhood, beginning with the changes that transformed her body – and with it her life – when she was 11 years old. By its close, Febos has found her way to a place of safety and strength, though her route there is fraught with danger: wolfish men lurk, mirrors reflect an enemy, drugs seem as hard to resist as a shiny red apple.